Day 3 - Mindset Triggers

After my experience with volleyball I was never fond of team sports. Although team based play is supposed to be about support and working together I constantly felt if I wasn't performing I was letting the team down, the weight of playing well was not only on yourself but the entire team. Constantly comparing myself to other people on the team and their progress wasn't helping my own progression. After shifting to climbing I thought I could escape the team sports pressure but rather found the self criticism to be just the same. Constantly doubting myself or being disappointment because I couldn't send that climb to the point of physical anger ruined the intent of the sport which was to have fun. For those reasons I've stayed away from serious competitive climbing, not because of the fear of failure but the fear of losing the fun and enjoyment of the sport. Viewing my own progress and getting to decide when and how I train was exactly what volleyball was missing, having a bad day climbing vs volleyball is the difference of personal reflection and feedback as apposed to letting down and entire team.

In a more specific example local climbing competitions at the gym are were peer comparison and personal criticism are tested at it's best. Climbing with people around your similar level and watching them complete a climb you struggle with is when for most people including myself is the hardest mental obstacle to get over. While you may be happy for that person you are disappointment or frustrated with yourself for not being able to do it as well, the frustration and anger tends to then build as a result of numerous failed attempts afterwards. At this point some will give up others will falsify their result to not destroy their ego on the scoreboard. Although climbing is an individual sport the athletes are tested as much if not more mentally then they are physically, it is important to reflect on why you are struggling or unable to do this climb and adjust such for the next attempt. I am continuing to work on my anger levels when it comes to being unable to complete climbs and rather use them as an opportunity to learn where my weak areas are and do better the next time.

Rewinding back a little bit as a kid I've always been competitive, my mom thinks I get it from my dad. Losing was never an option and as a result I wasn't very fun to play with. In hopes of being the best I missed the goal of having fun as to me fun was only had if you were winning. I've always found myself a fast learner when it came to sports, so when suddenly faced with people who actually worked for it my talents were no longer enough, my dedication to improve never made it past what I was just able to do which is why I think volleyball fell short once the talent of my teammates who worked started to show. Too this day I continue to work on self criticism and comparing to other peoples success as I have learned having playing for fun is much more valuable than playing to win.